shadowdive | 28 // [audio]

28 // [audio]

[The feed starts out with a bit of static, but it wears off soon enough with Vanitas talking.]

Out of Mt. Mortar, starting now.

[Off to the side, his tone goes sour.] Now, you're learning how to freaking swim, and we're taking the other route next time. You got that?

I don't see what the bulge fondling deal was. We made it out just fine!

You're learning how to swim. Deal with it.

So, essentially, what we have here is you not wanting to confront your fears so you're more or less attempting to force me to do what doesn't come fucking naturally to anyone indigo on down?

Don't know what you're talking about, and I'm not looking for a lesson this time. While you're here, you're human, and humans can freaking swim.

You don't know what I'm talking about... How about I shove you the merry fuck back in there and sit my Lapras in front of the goddamn exit? What then?

[There's dead silence for a moment, before the sound of a fist hitting a face. Yeahh. The network gets a few audio cues that tell of a fistfight going down, before the gear is dropped and it cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Gee, I would never have figured he'd be the type to throw punches around like the fat man does presents on Christmas Day...

[It takes him a few moments to figure out fat man equals Santa]

It was almost like a job, really.

So... You're from his world? He's talked about that shit hole minimally.

A wh...

[What kind of language is this? Oh his virgin ears]

I don't think he's got many good memories of home.

[ oops. KARKAT IS GOING TO CORRUPT YOUR TONGUES, BOYS. ]

I am starting to gather that. Does nothing GOOD ever happen to anybody?

There's a lot of good in the worlds, it's just that...well...

Don't tell Vanitas I'm saying this but Xehanort's most of the problem. And he's the one who trained Vanitas. The guy's cruel.

Even though he can hear what you're saying at this very moment?

From what information I have cleaned, the guy is clearly a neglectful asshat.

He's probably not listening for me, at least not right now.

And...I'm not sure what kind of hat that is, but if I'm guessing right, I think you have the idea. When he was my Master, he just about got me killed.

It's an insult, derp for brains. Ass: the more derogatory way of saying butt.

[ then it just sort of... clicks. ]

You're the other half.

Sorry, I've never heard some of the words you're using...

[And he's quiet a moment before he responds to the rest of that]

Guess he mentioned me?

Oh my god. It's like you two come out of this wiggler rated flick with no violence and is all about climbing Moonlight Mountain. Expand your fucking horizons.

[ snorts a little, but eh. ]

Don't you think it'd be hard to get to know him since you're obviously an important element in his life?

[All of that is...so confusing, but he doesn't think he ought to repeat the fact]

Hard to know him? I think he's still sort of feeling out who he wants to be himself, but we're all learning something as we grow, right?

[May have missed the point, possibly]

That's totally not what I meant.

Then...what'd you mean?

You're the reason he flipped his shit on me for choosing the cave.

...Yeah. M'sorry about that.

Don't be sorry. Shit happens that's beyond our control.

I'm stressing over the fact that something happened to you and now he's freaking out about it to anyone he thinks of as a friend. Traumatizing, all because it happened to one of the few people he thinks of as important. Ergo, you are important.

Thought I just bugged him more than anything. I mean, we're sort of opposites by nature, so it's not like I didn't expect it, but...

I'll um. See if I can talk to him about it, I don't want to trouble anybody if there's something he needs to say.

Caring about someone doesn't mean it's all moonbeams and starlight, genius. Even those closest to you can drive you shithive maggots. All of my friends irritate me on astronomical levels. They're still my best goddamn friends regardless.

I don't think my friends've really...annoyed me before, so I guess that's something I would've had to hear to really know it.

Thanks for explaining that to me.

That's because you seem to have the temperament of a young barkbeast with doe eyes.

A...what?

A puppy with bright, shining blue eyes that just wants to slobber all over your shoes with unparalleled amounts of slippy affection.

How'd you know my eyes were blue?

The other derp I know has blue eyes. I figured it was the universal constant for derpism.