shadowdive | 28 // [audio]

[The feed starts out with a bit of static, but it wears off soon enough with Vanitas talking.]

Out of Mt. Mortar, starting now.

[Off to the side, his tone goes sour.] Now, you're learning how to freaking swim, and we're taking the other route next time. You got that?

I don't see what the bulge fondling deal was. We made it out just fine!

You're learning how to swim. Deal with it.

So, essentially, what we have here is you not wanting to confront your fears so you're more or less attempting to force me to do what doesn't come fucking naturally to anyone indigo on down?

Don't know what you're talking about, and I'm not looking for a lesson this time. While you're here, you're human, and humans can freaking swim.

You don't know what I'm talking about... How about I shove you the merry fuck back in there and sit my Lapras in front of the goddamn exit? What then?

[There's dead silence for a moment, before the sound of a fist hitting a face. Yeahh. The network gets a few audio cues that tell of a fistfight going down, before the gear is dropped and it cuts out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You call me cute and I'll rip out your lookstubs with a rusty spoon.

I wouldn't try to hurt you, but I wouldn't like being called what you suggested any better.

You don't even know what it means. It could be very flattering!

It's language Master didn't permit, I know it's not good.

Wow. What stick was crammed up his ass?

Master Eraqus is like a father to me. He had a lot of rules, but he taught me well.

Affectionate sap, aren't you?

Don't you have family?

No.

[Note to self: adopt grumpy mc Karkat]

Friends can be family too. That's the kind of family I've got, including people I only met because of this place.

We don't have families at all, moron. Trolls have a custodian, a monstrous beast that matches our blood color, to raise them. Things like fathers. Mothers. Siblings. Shit like that doesn't exist for us.

[Trolls? Well, he's met fairies, why not?]

That doesn't mean you can't have any.

Might mean it's a thing that's not really compatible with us.

You don't know until you give something a chance.

You trying to get at something here? Why push something on me that I don't even get?

To me it'd be awfully lonely not having people like that in my life. But I can't make anybody do anything, I'm just saying you might learn it's a good feeling, someday.

[Can't force friend-families, after all. They just happen]

Pfft. Someone took out your common sense and implanted the empty space with hopes and dreams.

I guess hopes and dreams're what stop the darkness then.

I am now officially taking Egbert's derpitude title away. It is now yours.

Maybe I should start a collection.

It would be endless.

I've only got a few titles so far, that I'm aware of.

I will make it happen.

Is that on your list of things to do, make endless titles?

Why not? I don't have much else to do with the free time on my hooves.

[audio]

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