37 // [audio] kind of shittily locked from boyfriendo

[shadowdive]

Hey. Network, I need some ideas, I guess.

[There's a bit of a pause, hesitating, but it eventually.. awkwardly comes out.]

Is there something special I'm supposed to get Karkat for Christmas? Or am I supposed to treat it like just another gift giving holiday? And if you know him well enough, what kind of Pokemon do you think he would like that he doesn't already have.

[This is why this is audio only. He was tempted to use text, but that would be easier to hack, so audio it is........ not like this isn't really easy to hack, but he knows well enough that Karkat can't hack things for shit.]

Comments

[ghostytrainer]

Hehe, well hopefully we can fix that today. While I am not the best when it comes to baking, I did learn from the best so hopefully we can keep the building intact as well as make something edible. That being said, come on, we may as well go get this party started.

[With that, he heads towards the kitchen.]

[shadowdive]

[Shutting the door behind him, Vanitas simply moves after John while shifting the bags to one hand. Once in the kitchen, he'll bring it all up and unpack on the counter; burger meat, cheese, ketchup, onions, bacon, and Bonnie Cracker vanilla cake mix!]

OH MY GOD VANITAS YOU DICK

[ghostytrainer]

[No sooner are the two boys in the kitchen than an overly happy Litwick swoops through the air with a happy squeak, colliding with the side of John's head in what is presumably some kind of affectionate gestures. He giggles and scratches the side of her head before she zooms over to Vanitas because omg new person. Let her just love on you a little! How about she floofs your hair? Yes, this is a good use of her time.]

[This prompts even louder laughter from John before he moves to look at what Vanitas brought with him.]

Ah, good it looks l-- [He cuts off as he catches sight of the box of cake mix, staring at it with a look of disbelief.]

[What.]

[The actual fuck.]

[WHY DOES THIS EXIST IN JOHTO.]

IT'S NOT BETTY CROCKER 8DDDD

[shadowdive]

[Jerking at first in surprise at a ghost flying up, but when she doesn't do more than fuss with his hair, Vanitas relaxs and lifts a hand with a soft snort. The sound of John choking on words pausing has him looking, blinking a bit.]

What? Is vanilla not good?

this is true.

[ghostytrainer]

[The little candle makes an ethereal sort of cooing noise, shifting her attention from Vanita's hair to his hand. Yay, fingers!]

Huh? Oh, no! No, vanilla is fine if that's what you like.

[He's fine...totally fine. After all, it's not like it's actually Crocker brand. And what does he care, anyway? Seriously, it's been like two years he should be over this. but reflexes are reflexes, I suppose.]

[shadowdive]

[He'll keep wriggling his fingers for the little ghost, looking between her with a smile and John looking a little off.]

It's alright. I figured it would be easiest to start with since there aren't extra flavors or anything to add. [CURIOUS ABOUT THAT PAUSE STILL THOUGH, COME ON BRO, SHARE SOME DEETS.]

[ghostytrainer]

[Congratulations, Vanitas. You have made a new friend. If you think Chandel is going to leave you alone for the duration of this cooking fest...you're wrong. She has just met you but already she loves you.]

Mmm, yeah. And pre-made mix is always a good place to start too. Easier than trying to mix up the whole thing from scratch. But first! Burgers. Let's start with those.

[NOPE. NOT TALKING ABOUT IT.]

[shadowdive]

[She's cute, though he's pretty sure he read that these Pokemon eat life force; she's not doing it now buuuut he needs all the life force he's got now.]

Sounds good to me. [He'll ask when they get around to it. For now, he'll wash his hands and get a plate out to dump the meat onto.]

[ghostytrainer]

[Oh and she does. But don't worry, Vanitas. John has her trained very well. She knows better than to snack on daddy's friends. She settles herself firmly onto her new bff's shoulder, watching him curiously as he washes his hands and takes out the hamburger meet. Though she couldn't help but kind of shy away and hide behind his head a little as long as the faucet was on. Water is scary, waaahhh.]

[John washes his hands after Vanitas and then pulls a frying pan out of one of the cupboards, setting it on the stovetop.]

Did you get anything to mix into the meat? Like mushrooms or are we just going Plain Jane with it?

[Just greasing the pan real quick. Wouldn't want the meat to stick to the pan, after all.]

[shadowdive]

[Kind of ridiculously cute now, hiding behind him like that. Daww. The question has him shaking his head and fishing into the bag a bit.] I do have mushrooms to slice up as a topping, but wouldn't they burn being mixed into the meat?

[ghostytrainer]

[Protect her, spiky head!!! 8<]

[John shakes his head.]

Nah. Well, technically if you burn the meat, you would burn the mushrooms too, since you would be mixing them in together. But mushrooms are a little more hard wearing than that. Heck, you can even treat Portobellos as a hamburger. You can put them on a grill and everything. It's a vegetarian alternative, though the taste is kinda ehhhh. [He flattens his hand and wiggles it a little in the universal sign for "so-so".]

But putting them on top when it's done works just as well.

[shadowdive]

[She'd like knowing he has no water types, wouldn't she.]

Huh. Sounds pretty good, honestly. [Thinking, thinking, which should he do... The mushrooms get pulled out too and plastic unpeeled, looking for a cutting board.] Might as well try it.

[ghostytrainer]

[It will earn you a few extra points, yes.]

Here. [From one of the cabinets, he pulls out a small plastic cutting board and slides it in front of Vanitas.] Somehow I get the feeling the cutting part will be little issue for you.

[In the meantime, he'll take the meat off of that plate and put it in to a bowl so that he can start working on mixing it up with his hands. Fuck yeah, squishy meat let's play with it!]

[shadowdive]

[Flicking the plastic cutting board just to see what it is, Vanitas can't help a snorted chuckle at the remark and smirks, looking for a knife now.]

Is it that obvious I'm used to dealing with sharp weaponry?

[ghostytrainer]

Well now it is. [He chuckles.] I don't know, I think it's just that you said you only know how to cook over a fire. Somehow shard things go with that scenario of rough and tumble-ness.

[shadowdive]

Understandable. I was a fighter back home. While my weapon wasn't exactly sharp, it did it's job. [Mushrooms are rinsed and brought to the cutting board and sliceslicechopchopchop. While he hasn't chopped up vegetables before, he's not slow about slice and dicing.]

[ghostytrainer]

Hey, nothing wrong with weapons that aren't sharp. What did you use though?

[Whee mashing the meat it feels weird and squishy.]

[shadowdive]

It's called a Keyblade. A weapon that takes on a form that reflects on the users heart, and it's power is driven by the heart. There are several different keyblades, and their general shape is of a key, but they do more than open doors. Some can unlock a persons true potential, others can unlock hearts.

[Just chopping away, only stopping when he clips the side of his finger and pulls both knife and finger away. Going to need a new knife, since this one got a little blood on it.]

[ghostytrainer]

...huh. That sounds pretty neat, actually. But you said yours wasn't sharp, right? Why is it called a Keybla-- [And that's when he catches sight of Vanitas's finger.]

Are you okay?!

[shadowdive]

[He's hardly doing much more than looking at the little wound, before shrugging.] I've felt worse. [Like it's the most natural thing in the word, Vani moves and dumps the knife in the sink, rinses his finger and reaches for a clean one.]

[ghostytrainer]

Oh...alright then. Do you want a band aid for that though, in case it starts bleeding again or something?

[Blood in food: not good.]

[shadowdive]

Yeah, I guess I'll need one. [Still at the sink, he squishes that finger a little and makes a bit of a face when the bleeding just dollops on his finger.]

But a keyblade is named that because all keyblades are based off a weapon called the X-blade. That weapon is created only when a heart of pure light and a heart of pure darkness fight, and is the only one capable of summoning a door to the world called Kingdom Hearts.

[ghostytrainer]

[Chandel coos at him and disappears from his shoulder. New friend needs a bandaid and she totally knows where they are!]

Wait, what? You lost me. All keyblades come from the keyblade?

[This conversation needs more subtitles.]

[shadowdive]

All keyblades are created through the wielders heart, giving them all a unique appearance. The X-blade is the original that wasn't created in that manner. It comes from a heart of pure light and a heart of pure darkness clashing; people of pure light or pure darkness are very difficult to come by. There are princesses of heart, who are of pure light; there are seven known in my universe. A heart of pure darkness is much harder to find.

[SUBTITLES, WE NEED YOU]

[ghostytrainer]

So they have the same name it's the "the" that's the distinguishing factor? The Keyblade versus A Keyblade? Sorry, I am just trying to figure out how you all don't confuse yourselves when you try and have a casual conversation about this.

[Clearly, KH-verse subtitles are IC-canon.]

That's kinda neat though, even if it does sound like something out of an anime or a video game.