37 // [audio] kind of shittily locked from boyfriendo

[shadowdive]

Hey. Network, I need some ideas, I guess.

[There's a bit of a pause, hesitating, but it eventually.. awkwardly comes out.]

Is there something special I'm supposed to get Karkat for Christmas? Or am I supposed to treat it like just another gift giving holiday? And if you know him well enough, what kind of Pokemon do you think he would like that he doesn't already have.

[This is why this is audio only. He was tempted to use text, but that would be easier to hack, so audio it is........ not like this isn't really easy to hack, but he knows well enough that Karkat can't hack things for shit.]

Comments

video;

[heartdive]

Wow. You got it bad.

video;

[shadowdive]

[NO WORDS. This face will have to do.]

video;

[heartdive]

Your secret's safe with me!

But really, Vanitas. If it's something you'd like to do, then you're gonna have to learn. Maybe they have some videos or stuff?

video;

[shadowdive]

Not really a secret that we're dating, but if anyone hurts him, I'll break their arm. [Actually, he'd do more like gut and hang from a tree but anyway-]

The last time I looked up videos for something, it was four in the morning and learning what "sex" was.

video;

[heartdive]

What.

video;

[shadowdive]

Long story short, don't channel surf at an obscure hour of the morning.

video;

[heartdive]

Why would you need to know that stuff?

You're not... You know?

video;

[shadowdive]

It was apparently important to at least know about it!

We're not discussing that.

video;

[heartdive]

YOU ARE!

VANITAS, YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH FOR THAT!

video;

[shadowdive]

I SAID WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. [He's really not doing anything other than COLD SHOWERS but again, THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION TO BE HAVING.]

video;

[heartdive]

WHICH MAKES YOU LOOK EVEN MORE GUILTY!

video;

[shadowdive]

LOOK. NOTHING LIKE THAT GOES ON. THE MOST THAT HAPPENS IS I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GO TO THE BATHROOM. [No, he is not shouting in his awkward. It's because Sora started shouting first-]

video;

[heartdive]

Then why were you... Looking for that stuff? It really doesn't make sense.

video;

[shadowdive]

I never had "the talk" and someone suggested I look for videos to see what it was.

video;

[heartdive]

That's kinda mean...

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[shadowdive]

It's not mean but it's embarrassing as all hell when someone starts into the room, asking what you're screaming about.

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[heartdive]

It really kind of is, though. You still don't really know what's going on. Are you really supposed to make heads or tails from something you don't know about?

video;

[shadowdive]

I know the basics and what it all.. does. [Grumbling now, his face feels disgustingly hot and yup, red all the way to his ears.] I didn't even know what puberty was until it came up with the talks.

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[heartdive]

I think you were better off not knowing.

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[shadowdive]

I don't. I needed to know what it was when my body started growing. Why did you say I'm too young?

video;

[heartdive]

Because you are! You're like six!

You shouldn't even think about it until after you're married anyway.

video;

[shadowdive]

My body isn't exactly six.

Why? [SORRY SORA]

video;

[heartdive]

Why... What?

video;

[shadowdive]

Why not think about it until after marriage?

video;

[heartdive]

Because it's supposed to be something special between married people?

And now I wanna stop talking...