35 // text

[shadowdive]

[After fiddling with the gear for a bit and checking the network, it seemed like it's impossible to tell who is who... so now seemed like a prime time to ask without embarrassment. Now to just keep it short in case the text glitches and gibberishes the question...]

someone explain what 'the talk' is

[Someone should answer, people are always answering questions or being nosy.]

Comments

[tentacletrainer]

Exactly. As far as I know, from everything I've heard, it starts by cutting a whole in the bottom of your pail and inserting your manhood into it, then presenting it to your matesprit or kismesis. From there they'll collect their bucket and...I never really learned beyond that. Typically they're too embarrassed to explain it further and leave it as 'that's all you need to know'.

Eventually through association I end up knowing every troll who comes and goes. Though on a whole, I've met all of them at one point or another.

[[Oh you may, hm? How much of a game can we turn this into?]]

[shadowdive]

i see. i don't know who all they know though so i have a limited idea. the only other person i know who knows the trolls and isn't one is rose.

[SORRY TO RUIN THE FUN GIRL. Unless you troll with the identity....]

[tentacletrainer]

[[...she could. But then she didn't feed him any information that is...terribly inaccurate really...]]

Close but no cigar. I know Rose, but am not her.

[[What the hell, why not.]]

[shadowdive]

oh, sorry then.

[tentacletrainer]

Don't apologize! No big deal. :) I'm her fiance.

[[Sorry for throwing you under the bus, John.]]

FFFFFFFFFFF and then one day he meets the real john and is like 'what'

[shadowdive]

whats a fiance?

It'll be a beautiful meeting.

[tentacletrainer]

It's when you're going to get married, but aren't yet, but you have at least proposed! You and your partner are fiances.

[shadowdive]

so it's like a promise to be married

[tentacletrainer]

Exactly!
When you think you're ready, you buy your partner a ring. Usually it's a diamond ring for girls, but guys typically wear wedding bands so I guess if you ever wanted to you'd buy one of those instead.
And then you take your partner on a date and you put the ring on top of a cake under a metal dome, and after a romantic meal you put the cake in front of them, pull off the dome to reveal the cake and ring, and ask them if they'll marry you!

[shadowdive]

that sounds like a romcom proposal. is that what you did for rose?

[papshooshing]

WOW.
THAT IS SO NOT HOW IT FUCKING GOES.
STOP CONFUSING THE LITTLE INSECT.

[shadowdive]

i thought you were asleep

[papshooshing]

I WOULD BE
IF NOT FOR THE TAP TAP TAPPING OF FINGERS ON THE GEAR.

[shadowdive]

why not just roll over and tell me to quit texting

[papshooshing]

IS THERE A REASON I SHOULD?

[shadowdive]

you'll keep hearing tap tap tap on the gear and you can elbow me from where you are. you wanted me to know this stuff though. is that why you're letting it go?

[papshooshing]

I'M NOT ABOUT TO CONTROL *EVERYTHING* YOU DO, GENIUS.

pchooooo to action

[shadowdive]

[Vani's going to set the gear down and roll over now to settle in close with a soft snort, curling his arms around and tucking his nose against Karkat's neck.]

I know. Was just asking.

[tentacletrainer]

It's not?
That's sure what it sounded like to me when Eridan explained it. :/

[[Casually throws Eridan under the bus too oooooops.]]

[papshooshing]

IF YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVED THAT BRINESUCKER YOU'RE COMPLETELY FUCKING STUPID.
THEN AGAIN, CHERIA FELL FOR HIS ACT SO...
WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND, JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE PINK WONDER.
I'M SURE THAT EXPLAINS THAT.

[tentacletrainer]

...actually, I guess you're right now that I think about it.
I just figured it was right since nobody would explain it otherwise to me.

[papshooshing]

MAYBE WHEN THIS ANON SHIT IS OVER, I WILL.

[tentacletrainer]

Well then when this anon shit is over I'll seek you out.
Though I figured now would be the best time to explain it, wouldn't it?
Then no one knows who you are and it's less embarrassing.

[papshooshing]

NO, BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO JUST ANYONE ABOUT IT.

[tentacletrainer]

What a shame. I'm sure it would be very educational for everyone and would really help to avoid offending any of you with buckets on accident.