shadowdive | 35 // text

35 // text

[After fiddling with the gear for a bit and checking the network, it seemed like it's impossible to tell who is who... so now seemed like a prime time to ask without embarrassment. Now to just keep it short in case the text glitches and gibberishes the question...]

someone explain what 'the talk' is

[Someone should answer, people are always answering questions or being nosy.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

When you reach a certain maturity, most times, or your parents deem you old enough, they sit you down and tell you about the "wonders of your body". They tell you how sex and reproduction works usually and typically tell you not to do it until you're older, but never define how much older you have to be.

And, depending on your parents, it can be a very clear cut explanation or you get the birds and the bees/the pencil and the pencil shaver/awkward finger and hand gestures that really don't explain much at all. That's when you go to the internet.

i didn't get anything from my world. why do i have to go to the internet? can't you just explain it to me?

Oh no, I can if you'd like. Kids, however, don't always have a friendly anon to explain it to them without going to the internet and at least Googling a few things.

then if you could.

Well I have two questions before I can proceed.

1) How much do you know about your body exactly? And reproduction, for that matter.

2) Why exactly do you want to know?

i know there are differences between men and women, and that's key for reproduction. happens with the pokemon when there's eggs.

i want to know because it's apparently necessary to at least know about it in a relationship, and my partner won't tell me.

Alright. I suppose one more important question before I start is whether or not you're a boy or a girl. I'm sure with what you already know, you can guess why this piece of information is important.

i'm a boy.

Okay, thank you. The first thing you need to know then is what the different between a man and woman really is, which is actually very simple. A man's reproductive organs, or his 'manhood', is on the outside of his body. A woman's, or her 'garden' is on the inside.

[[Rose was the wrong person to send Vani to really. If that isn't apparent yet...]]

okay [Continue, is what he's saying. And text was definitely the best option, since he looks downright derpy as he listens.]

When two partners are ready to engage in sex, the man simply buries his manhood into his partners garden. I can't really explain the next part, because it's different from person to person, but if they want a child or they aren't careful he'll plant his seed there by the end of it. This seed grows into a baby.

[The response comes a little later this time, mostly because he's just thinking on it.]

men don't have a "garden", so two men don't need to be that careful, because they won't make a baby. right?

Correct. Well...here you are safe at least. I'm not positive how it works in other worlds. Though that brings up a good point. This is just how I know it's done. If you or your partner are a different species, it could be performed a different way.

we're all human here; i was human-shaped in my world, so i don't think it changes much for me.

That may be, but you should still be mindful of different species. A friend of mine is something called a troll back home, and because of how they do it buckets are a very touchy subject for them.

[That so caught his attention.]

Buckets are a touchy subject?

Indeed. Depending on how you present a bucket, you may or may not end up asking a troll for sex, so if you're not careful you can send the completely wrong message.

Of course, trolls who've been here a while would hopefully know the difference between a sex proposition and just needing to clean something.

[[Of course that means it can be great fun to screw with newly arriving trolls who aren't accustomed to buckets yet.]]

so that would be what's called "pailing". at least that makes more sense now. [THANKS ROSE, THAT HELPS.]

which trolls do you know? i may know you.

Exactly. As far as I know, from everything I've heard, it starts by cutting a whole in the bottom of your pail and inserting your manhood into it, then presenting it to your matesprit or kismesis. From there they'll collect their bucket and...I never really learned beyond that. Typically they're too embarrassed to explain it further and leave it as 'that's all you need to know'.

Eventually through association I end up knowing every troll who comes and goes. Though on a whole, I've met all of them at one point or another.

[[Oh you may, hm? How much of a game can we turn this into?]]

i see. i don't know who all they know though so i have a limited idea. the only other person i know who knows the trolls and isn't one is rose.

[SORRY TO RUIN THE FUN GIRL. Unless you troll with the identity....]

[[...she could. But then she didn't feed him any information that is...terribly inaccurate really...]]

Close but no cigar. I know Rose, but am not her.

[[What the hell, why not.]]

oh, sorry then.

i thought you were asleep

Edited 2012-09-13 02:13 (UTC)

She's going super anon for this.

ohhhh no colorrrsssss

Yup. She's taking advantage of this anon thing.

|D niiiice. come advise him rose, kk recommended you or kanaya anyway hurr

Man though she is really tempted to troll him.

hahhahahahhahahahahhaha

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professor oak: are you a booooy? or a giiiiirrrllll?

Hardest decision you'll ever make in your Pokemon life tbh

hahahhhadkgfdjaf oh my god the terms, that's beautiful

She's an expert at this okay? He's totally going to know what to do when she's done.

the best expert ever

Let her show you her certification.

is it printed on the back of a chinese take out menu?

Sometimes. Sometimes it's on the back of a receipt. Depends on which she has handy.

here, take this coupon. it will be useful one day to write upon

Exactly.

|Db

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